Abusive relationships, as all related to human emotions, have too many variables making it hard to mention all of them in only some short paragraphs. Contrary to relationships based on love, abusive relationships are built on a strange mixture of love and hate between both partners.
It is very common that the victim of an abusive relationship will think that the love given to his/her partner will be enough to change him someday, but it never happens. The other component in the relationship has deep buried hate feelings and uses many mechanisms to control his or her mate. So much hate is often buried very deep inside and exposes itself when a problem arises between the mates. The person will even strike out in public, attacking another person of the same gender because of some kind of jealousness embarrassing the other partner.
The mate showing love to his or her lover often hears “I am sorry, it won’t happen again. I was just mad.” But the person with hate buried inside often makes excuses for his or her behavior and the partner often believes the lies throughout the life of the relationship.
Abusive relationships come in many forms. In other words, doctors, lawyers, cops, judges, poor, or other class of people can be the hater while the mate is the lover. The person filled with hate will often use the mate as a punching bag when he or she feels angry. The anger is buried deep, thus the partner can trigger the mate under any circumstance. In other words, a wrong word that is not wrong to someone else could ignite an emotion that strikes out at the target.
Love and hate relationships are the worse kind of relation any one could have; since someone always gets hurt, physically and mentally. Statistics show that every 3 minutes a woman is battered by her mate, and in some instances even killed.
A good relationship is based on trust, love, faith and sharing. When one partner is giving more than the other partner this is not love.
Nowadays, it is next to impossible to find pure love. Good men often find women that treat them ill, while bad men are mistreating women so badly that their appreciation for men diminish over time. Good women often find men that cheat, lie, or take them for granted, thus finding a good relationship nowadays is next to impossible for many people.
Many persons, specially women, in an abusive relationship often remain with their partners regardless of the level of abuse, since the hater partner has their self-esteem and confidence torn down so badly that they believe that no one else wants them. Even if they do have a shred of dignity left, they are often threatened that if they leave the abuser will hurt or kill a family member, friend, or the new partner. The law doesn't help, or offers little help to partners of abusive relationships. As shameful as it can look, in many states cops have allowed murder before acting upon the crime. This happens too often, so the law is not in favor of the person being abused and believing their partner will change, rather they seem to be on the side of the predator.
If you are in an abusive relationship you may want to consider what love and a good relationship really means. If you are still believing that your mate will change only because you love him, you are wasting valuable time. Love does not hurt, rather love makes a person feel hope, secure, confident, and ready to take chances in life. Love offers hugs, kisses, respect, trust, and a hand when times are hard.
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